That Which We Call a Rose...

By any other name would smell as sweet... This Valentine's morning, I am aware of the power that our words and thoughts have on our experience.

My namesake Granny Anna Belle always said, "thoughts are things." Our thoughts directly impact our experience. Mindfulness, or paying attention to the present moment with acceptance, gives us a skillful way to respond to our thoughts and feelings- and is of growing interest to counselors and clients alike.

One of my colleagues, Tim Sweatman, shared a brief mindfulness-based intervention that he invites his clients to experiment with. The idea is this: notice when we feel uncomfortable and gently and easily shift our experience in a new direction by asking, "What would it feel like not to feel this way, right now?" We can tailor the wording to fit our experience. We might ask: What would it feel like not to feel anxious, right now? What would it feel like not to fear public speaking, right now? What would it feel like not to be worried about my health, right now? Whatever works for you.

The idea is to practice responding to our experience with compassion and curiosity rather than worrying about or fighting our experience, which oftentimes only makes it worse.

There are many ways to practice self-compassion this Valentine's Day. What would it be like to be a living love letter to yourself? Perhaps it involves writing one? Or, re-naming the day? Or, taking a break from an old worry? The possibilities are endless...