We want to live in a world where... How would you complete this sentence? What kind of relationships, families, neighborhoods, and communities do we want for ourselves and others? As part of counseling, I often do some envisioning work with clients. Looking ahead to the people we want to become and the kind of lives we want to create can be extremely useful in helping us get there.
All of us come into the world with a mix of nature and nurture that gives us a unique set of core beliefs about ourselves and guides our thoughts and behavior. Some of us received more love and attention in our families than others and we adapted accordingly. That's okay. Wherever you're starting from is great because change generally begins with noticing where we're coming from!
Think back to the formative events in your life. What messages might they have conveyed to you about yourself? Maybe you learned that you're not important or it's not okay to show your emotions and now you'd like more intimacy and sharing in you life. I have a helpful list of beliefs that I use with clients to help us discover the often times unconscious bunch of beliefs that impact our experience.
Often times, we feel most anxious when we're already in the midst of inner change. Things becomes easier as we let our values direct our decisions rather operating from the perspective of past experiences- particularly if our past experiences left us unhappy. Sometimes we don't have a clue how to move forward and that's okay, too. You're the only one who can figure it out!
Who do you want to become? Just imagining puts you on the road to getting there.
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