Wednesday, April 24, 2013

When Life Is Full: Consider Compassion

Just like the moon today sometimes life is awfully full. How do you take care of yourself when the going gets tough? When your heart actually hurts and tears are running down your face?

Some of us are more comfortable with difficult emotions than others. Are you one of those people who identifies as "a crier?" Do you find crying a painful experience you would rather avoid? Or, perhaps you fall somewhere in between? Try as we all might, sometimes our glass overflows and the tears just come...

A lot of factors influence how we respond to ourselves when we feel down. Our values, our inner critic, and our upbringing all play a role. But, no one can ultimately control how we respond to ourselves but us. Whether we choose kindness or criticism, the choice is ours.

Do you reach out to a friend, give yourself some space, distract yourself with business, treat yourself to a nice meal, or berate yourself for "breaking down?" There is no right or wrong way way to respond. Only different options.

If you're like many of my clients and myself you might sometimes find that you don't know how to do things differently and be more gentle with yourself. Luckily many great teachers have laid out a path. Christopher Germer's The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion is one such guide. There are many things that we can do.

Simply stopping and taking a deep breath does wonders. We can observe what is going on in our bodies and minds and note what we find there: tension, sadness, fatigue- or whatever it might be. And, we can put our experience in perspective by realizing its ever-changing but habitual nature. It is the nature of the mind to think, wander, and worry and it is the nature of the heart to feel...

Spending a moment with ourselves in this way gives us the message that we're worthy of our own time and attention and helps us practice what works to feel better. Whatever our practice, may we grow wiser in our relationship with our whole experience, our one true constant companion...

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