Healing From Trauma

I was introduced to the work of  Jasmin Lee Cori while I was in graduate school at Naropa University where it just so happened that we lived in the same apartment building in Boulder, Colorado. Jasmin is a counselor, author, and self-identified trauma survivor who specializes in understanding, dealing with, and healing from trauma.

I saw a flyer in our building for a workshop being offered on healing from childhood abuse and neglect and came home with her book, Healing from Trauma: A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Your Symptoms and Reclaiming Your life. I have since read it twice and I highly recommend it for anyone looking for some guidance in the aftermath of trauma.

Here is a sample:

Ten Points to Remember

1. Trauma is magnetic, and you have to work hard not to get swallowed up by it. There are a number of tools you can practice to help with this. The more you practice, the better you'll get at it.

2. Discover what anchors you to the here and now. Because this may be different at different times, you'll need to notice what works in any given moment.

3. The more grounded and present you are, the more you can handle and the more you can protect yourself if needed.

4. When you can manage your arousal level, you will feel more in control. So many trauma reactions are about runaway arousal.

5. When one channel of information (thinking, feeling, sensation) gets too disturbing, try changing channels or bringing in many channels simultaneously so that you can diffuse the intensity.

6. Find your rock, your regulating resource. Call upon it when trauma threatens to engulf you.

7. Identify people you can call on for help. Listen to your body in their presence. Caring others are a pharmacy all their own.

8. Having a sense of options is an antidote to the feeling of being trapped and powerless that are central to trauma. Just seeing that you have options will help you feel much better.

9. Soothing and support are important antidotes for activation.

10. It takes time for the body to recover after it has been flooded with stress hormones. Sometimes all you can do is create a safe space to wait it out.

Notice any patterns? Learning how to calm down and reach out for help is a central part of the healing process. It takes time but it can change your life. 

This is tough stuff. If you choose to explore the subject with this or another source, know that you can pace yourself and listen to your body, taking a break if you get overwhelmed. It's especially important to be kind to yourself when you're down. Consider it a prescription for your health and wellbeing. 

Occupational Hazards and Gifts of Counseling

The other night I exclaimed to my hard working husband, who recently started his own tree service, "I feel bad that you come home with all of these scratches and bruises!" His response: "Yeah but your heart gets hurt at work." Goodness me!

I truly care about my clients and sometimes my heart really does hurt for them. But, I get to watch them feel better- and I am changed in the process. Just like it's worth it for my partner to get smacked by the occasional branch to get be around the trees and wildlife that he knows and loves, it's worth it for me to accompany people in pain to get to nurture and be touched by the resilience of the human spirit.

We all become changed by the people and places in our lives. It's just a matter of how.

But, returning to occupational hazards of counseling, for a moment, I was not aware of the dangers of spraining my foot in counseling- but I managed to accomplish it! My foot fell completely asleep during session and was not there to support me when I stood up. Instead, I rather dramatically fell over in front of my client! Not part of the treatment plan.

In the days since, I have had to slow down. While studying for the national counseling exam, managing a growing caseload, and adjusting to newly married life back home, I had to slow down. This wasn't easy or what I wanted to do. But, the message that my body was communicating was not lost on me.

When it comes to our health and healing, there is no finish line. No magic moment when we can begin to start living- but this isn't a bad thing. We might as well settle in and enjoy the journey. Life is happening around us right now- whether we're sitting, laying, walking, or limping for it!

When Life Is Full: Consider Compassion

Just like the moon today sometimes life is awfully full. How do you take care of yourself when the going gets tough? When your heart actually hurts and tears are running down your face?

Some of us are more comfortable with difficult emotions than others. Are you one of those people who identifies as "a crier?" Do you find crying a painful experience you would rather avoid? Or, perhaps you fall somewhere in between? Try as we all might, sometimes our glass overflows and the tears just come...

A lot of factors influence how we respond to ourselves when we feel down. Our values, our inner critic, and our upbringing all play a role. But, no one can ultimately control how we respond to ourselves but us. Whether we choose kindness or criticism, the choice is ours.

Do you reach out to a friend, give yourself some space, distract yourself with business, treat yourself to a nice meal, or berate yourself for "breaking down?" There is no right or wrong way way to respond. Only different options.

If you're like many of my clients and myself you might sometimes find that you don't know how to do things differently and be more gentle with yourself. Luckily many great teachers have laid out a path. Christopher Germer's The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion is one such guide. There are many things that we can do.

Simply stopping and taking a deep breath does wonders. We can observe what is going on in our bodies and minds and note what we find there: tension, sadness, fatigue- or whatever it might be. And, we can put our experience in perspective by realizing its ever-changing but habitual nature. It is the nature of the mind to think, wander, and worry and it is the nature of the heart to feel...

Spending a moment with ourselves in this way gives us the message that we're worthy of our own time and attention and helps us practice what works to feel better. Whatever our practice, may we grow wiser in our relationship with our whole experience, our one true constant companion...

The Banyan Tree- A Holistic Counseling and Wellness Center

My colleagues at The Banyan Tree Center and I offer a holistic approach to counseling. As part of counseling, we'll discuss your whole experience- your thoughts and emotions, what you do for work, fun, how you eat, sleep, relax, relate, etc. It's all important because it's all connected.

We all have to find balance among the many pieces of our modern lives- work, home, school, relationships, fitness, spirituality. For many of us, part of our business includes managing our online presence through social media, as well. It can be hard to fit time for ourselves into the equation.

Counseling is a place that's just for you to explore your experience at your own pace. Counseling with a holistic minded clinician focuses on health and wellness and is geared towards helping you create the life that you desire. We all have changes that we want to make in our lives. Counseling can help.

If you or someone you know is considering counseling at this time, I hope that you'll take a moment and read more about our specific offerings at The Banyan Tree Center. Our services and our site was made with you in mind. Our intake coordinator would be happy to answer any questions you might have.

Wishing you nothing but goodness.

Sexual Assault in College: A Common Problem

College is full of challenges. On top of managing 'the usual' things- adjusting to being on one's own, balancing classes, studies, work, friends, socializing, and what's going on 'back home'- sexual assault is a common problem, especially for women. If we experience violence during this time it can turn our worlds upside down. When it does, counseling can help us get our footing back.

Statistics show that close to thirty percent of undergraduate women experience attempted or completed sexual assault before or since entering college. Experiencing sexual assault can make us feel ashamed and afraid and increase our risk of abusing alcohol and experiencing further trauma. It can be difficult to reach out. A counselor specially trained to work with trauma understands this and knows how to work with you to help you find your own answers. 

When and where you choose to see a counselor is a personal decision. The most important thing is to find a counselor who is a good fit for you. There are options on and off campus. Here in Athens, Counseling and Psychiatric Services (CAPS) at The University of Georgia (UGA) offers short-term counseling to students. You can give them a call at 706-542-2273. Many students choose to go off campus for counseling, as well. We see many students at The Banyan Tree Counseling Center. You can reach our intake coordinator for free and confidential phone consultation at 706-850-7041. Clinicians at The Banyan Tree Counseling Center and at CAPS will be happy to offer you community referrals, as well.

Counseling Today recently published a very informative article about counseling students after sexual assault. The article is geared towards counselors but provides useful information for anyone impacted by sexual trauma. Read the article in its entirety here.

Whatever you decide, if you've experienced sexual assault, know that you are not alone. And, healing is possible. Counseling can help.

Help Families Find Safety: Support Project Safe This Sunday

I received a copy of the empowering classic Our Bodies Ourselves for my eighteenth birthday and was forever changed by much of what I read. Some of the information affirmed what I already knew to be true and some was news to me, such as the fact that "Approximately 50% of the homeless women and children in this country are on the streets because of violence in their homes." I was shocked- but this is a reality for many people. If you're like me, you find this reality to be unacceptable.

Domestic violence can happen to anyone- but many factors combine to put some of us at greater risk than others. My previous employer, Safehouse Progressive Alliance for Nonviolence, in Boulder, Colorado, does a great job of explaining how various forms and systems of oppression combine to perpetuate injustice against society's more vulnerable members, such as women and children (check out SPAN's community offerings here).

According to the Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence, women continue to account for 97% of domestic violence survivors, many of whom end up on the streets. This isn't a coincidence- and it will take time for us all to help change the fabric of society for the better- but there are immediate things we can do, as well.

The National Alliance to End Homelessness points out the need for immediate "safe housing away from the abuser," as well as "access to safe, stable, affordable housing" for the future. Project Safe provides both emergency confidential shelter and transitional housing for women and children seeking safety.

You can help women and children right here at home escape domestic violence by attending Project Safe's biggest fundraiser of the year this Sunday: Dancing with the Athens Stars. Buy your tickets online or at the Class Center box office. Read my previous post to find out what the fun event is all about. Violence against women and children effects us all- and we can all help end it!

Dancing with the Athens Stars

It's nearly here! Project Safe's biggest annual event: Dancing with the Athens Stars! Mark your calendars. It's all happening Sunday March 24th at 7pm at the Classic Center. Tickets are on sale, now! Buy your tickets here.

Here's a little snippet from the Classic Center's event description: "Watch what happens when teams of novices are matched with experienced dancers in this exciting competition!"

And, more from the event's facebook page:

"Ten notable Athenians have been paired with dance instructors and each couple is creating one signature routine to be performed on stage at the Classic Center. A panel of judges will award trophies for their favorite, and the audience and community will select their favorite by voting (at $1 per voted contributed to Project Safe). This year's lineup features the most diverse array of dance styles ever, from ballroom and Latin to hip hop, Irish dance, and a martial arts routine set to music.

Tickets are $20 general admission, and all proceeds from tickets and voting go directly to services for survivors of domestic violence.

This year's lineup: Couple #1 John Bateman and Rachel Williams Couple #2 Johnetta Barnett and Amanda Carrithers Couple #3 Melanie Ford and Alex Bo-oCouple #4 Jackie Bishoff and Joseph Stunzi Couple #5 Chuck Dowdle and Natalie Cox Couple #6 Charlie Maddox and Barb Benson Couple #7 SJ Ursrey and Ladarius Thomas Couple #8 Emily Garrison and Oonagh Benson Couple #9 Jamey Loftin and Genie Wiggins Couple #10 Brett Atchley and Cassidy Carson 

To cast your votes, go to www.project-safe.org and click on the Dancing with the Athens Stars button."

Who doesn't enjoy a live dance show? Plus, proceeds go to support an important cause (from the facebook page): "Project Safe is a 501c3 non-profit organization whose primary mission is to end domestic violence through prevention and educational programs, crisis intervention, ongoing supportive services for survivors of domestic violence and their children, and advocacy/systems change work in our community... Our founders opened their homes so that victims of domestic violence could escape the pain and humiliation of abuse. Today we ask ourselves as an organization, 'What's the equivalent act of courage we must undertake to end domestic violence?'"   

Project Safe helps save and change lives right here at home- and we're all in this together. Let's help support their courageous efforts by attending this fun event. 

The night is sure to be entertaining! Read more about the exciting event's line-up here. It's interactive fun for the whole family that helps strengthen our whole community. 

See you there!