I recently shared an article I stumbled across on my professional facebook page entitled "10 Simple Things You Can Do Today That Will Make Your Happier, Backed By Science." Research shows that giving thanks is good medicine for our mental health; this is especially important this time of year, as we are naturally called upon to share our gratitude with each other.
Take stock of all you have- and activate your innate healing abilities- with this list, specially designed with giving thanks in mind...
1. Keep a journal of things you're grateful for- share with others for extra effect!
2. Go out of your way to express your appreciation when others help you- thankfulness is contagious!
3. Reach out to someone who has helped you through a difficulty in your life and share your gratitude- be specific for best results!
4. Take note of what's not going wrong, right now- maybe there's even a blessing in disguise!
5. Make your own personal gratitude mantra: Less Stressed, More Blessed! Gratitude, Not Attitude! What works for you?
6. Plan a meal to invite people over and invite each of your fellow diners to share one thing they're thankful for with each other.
7. What does it look like to be truly thankful? Integrate this image into your experience, painting, drawing, collaging, or a taking a picture of it!
8. Who embodies gratitude to you? Let yourself draw from all figures and from all times. What message do they have to share with you? Document as you desire!
9. Contemplate what it would be like to be feeling truly grateful, right now. Breathe in this curiosity. See what happens!
10. Does reading this list reek of cheesiness to you? Make your own gratitude ritual that feels right to you- these are the most effective!
As I write this list, I'm aware of much injustice in our world. People are hurting, right now, yet there is also much to be thankful for. We each have both pain and joy in our lives. Our wellbeing depends on our ability to allow both sides of experience- even as we work to create a more just world for all.
Wishing you a bright holiday season! May you share your one-of-a-kind light with others, making memories that bring a smile! I am thankful for each and every one of our unique gifts!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Women of Many Colors
Daughter. Sister. Wife. Friend. Counselor. Able-bodied. Cis-gender. White. American citizen. These are just a few words that could be used to describe me. These labels only represent our best attempt to capture the infinite complexity of who we are. What about you? What words describe yourself? What do you think of labels?
No two of us are born into this world with the same DNA and no two of us have the same experience. We all posses differing amounts of power and privilege based on the circumstances we were born into. I have faith that most of us desire a more just society for all. We're not there, yet. But, it's the only direction I can see us heading!
No matter where we are, our families, cultures, and communities teach us who we are and who we ought to be. Sometimes, pieces of us don't fit that mold. As girls, we might try and push our anger, athleticism, or ability to do algebra away. Guys might deny themselves their feelings. But, it's painful when parts of ourselves are rejected.
Your whole experience is welcome here! There might be issues in your life that you're on the way to outgrowing, relationships or old habits that no longer fit. You are free to shed them, making room for even more of who you really are to blossom. Still closer to the woman you wish to become. The time to bloom simply comes.
I am a woman of many colors. My life has been full of moments of contradiction. How can it not be with all of the mixed messages handed down to us?
When things get out of balance, it's time to gather ourselves up, practice some self- acceptance, and watch as our problems become smaller. I invite you to take yourself as you are, in all your moments of contradiction. There is no box big enough to hold you. No one else exactly like you! The world is waiting patiently to see what unique gifts, talents, strengths, insights, and perspectives you have to share...
You were born in many colors. Not just two dimensions.
No two of us are born into this world with the same DNA and no two of us have the same experience. We all posses differing amounts of power and privilege based on the circumstances we were born into. I have faith that most of us desire a more just society for all. We're not there, yet. But, it's the only direction I can see us heading!
No matter where we are, our families, cultures, and communities teach us who we are and who we ought to be. Sometimes, pieces of us don't fit that mold. As girls, we might try and push our anger, athleticism, or ability to do algebra away. Guys might deny themselves their feelings. But, it's painful when parts of ourselves are rejected.
Your whole experience is welcome here! There might be issues in your life that you're on the way to outgrowing, relationships or old habits that no longer fit. You are free to shed them, making room for even more of who you really are to blossom. Still closer to the woman you wish to become. The time to bloom simply comes.
I am a woman of many colors. My life has been full of moments of contradiction. How can it not be with all of the mixed messages handed down to us?
When things get out of balance, it's time to gather ourselves up, practice some self- acceptance, and watch as our problems become smaller. I invite you to take yourself as you are, in all your moments of contradiction. There is no box big enough to hold you. No one else exactly like you! The world is waiting patiently to see what unique gifts, talents, strengths, insights, and perspectives you have to share...
You were born in many colors. Not just two dimensions.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Inner Advising
Last week, my husband and I returned from our honeymoon, one year after we shared our handmade wedding vows in the pristine rocky mountains with a few good friends. It was worth the wait to go on the honeymoon we wanted.
Towards the end of the trip, I came down with a nasty headache, upset stomach, and fatigue- feeling terrible on my honeymoon! And, it hit me- you know all that relaxation stuff you do with your clients? You need it, now!
So, I let my hubby wander down the many steps from our jungle cabin to yoga alone, laid down on the big white bed under the mosquito net canopy, and gently kindled the intention to relax and free up some healing energy for my self. Intuitively, I was drawn to an inner "resource development" exercise from my counselor's tool box.
It was time to summon my inner advisor... In this particular process, we are invited to conjure up a figure we associate with nurturing and support....
I let myself slow down, deepen my breathing, and open my mind and heart. An image of myself at a much younger age came to mind. This baby girl was smiling and laughing, throwing her hands up in the air on big white bed of her own in a light filled room. Maybe the image comes from a distant memory or family photograph. It doesn't matter. This little girl was truly happy just being there, being herself- the way only very young children can be! I was touched to see her!
See and be seen. It's what you want. It's what you need. I was in paradise with my partner but I had forgotten how to just be there myself! Having been with this little guru, for a time, my headache dissipated and I saw, smelled, tasted, heard, and felt everything in the world around me anew...
She is now available to me at any moment. Whenever I want or need her sweet presence, reminding me to just be myself and enjoy being in the world! You are welcome to summon your own inner advisor when you think it would be helpful- staying with the activity for as long as you want to, making it as vivid as you desire. What message does your inner advisor have to share with you? Only you know.
You are the remedy and you hold the answers.
Towards the end of the trip, I came down with a nasty headache, upset stomach, and fatigue- feeling terrible on my honeymoon! And, it hit me- you know all that relaxation stuff you do with your clients? You need it, now!
So, I let my hubby wander down the many steps from our jungle cabin to yoga alone, laid down on the big white bed under the mosquito net canopy, and gently kindled the intention to relax and free up some healing energy for my self. Intuitively, I was drawn to an inner "resource development" exercise from my counselor's tool box.
It was time to summon my inner advisor... In this particular process, we are invited to conjure up a figure we associate with nurturing and support....
I let myself slow down, deepen my breathing, and open my mind and heart. An image of myself at a much younger age came to mind. This baby girl was smiling and laughing, throwing her hands up in the air on big white bed of her own in a light filled room. Maybe the image comes from a distant memory or family photograph. It doesn't matter. This little girl was truly happy just being there, being herself- the way only very young children can be! I was touched to see her!
See and be seen. It's what you want. It's what you need. I was in paradise with my partner but I had forgotten how to just be there myself! Having been with this little guru, for a time, my headache dissipated and I saw, smelled, tasted, heard, and felt everything in the world around me anew...
She is now available to me at any moment. Whenever I want or need her sweet presence, reminding me to just be myself and enjoy being in the world! You are welcome to summon your own inner advisor when you think it would be helpful- staying with the activity for as long as you want to, making it as vivid as you desire. What message does your inner advisor have to share with you? Only you know.
You are the remedy and you hold the answers.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
We Want To Live In A World...
We want to live in a world where... How would you complete this sentence? What kind of relationships, families, neighborhoods, and communities do we want for ourselves and others? As part of counseling, I often do some envisioning work with clients. Looking ahead to the people we want to become and the kind of lives we want to create can be extremely useful in helping us get there.
All of us come into the world with a mix of nature and nurture that gives us a unique set of core beliefs about ourselves and guides our thoughts and behavior. Some of us received more love and attention in our families than others and we adapted accordingly. That's okay. Wherever you're starting from is great because change generally begins with noticing where we're coming from!
Think back to the formative events in your life. What messages might they have conveyed to you about yourself? Maybe you learned that you're not important or it's not okay to show your emotions and now you'd like more intimacy and sharing in you life. I have a helpful list of beliefs that I use with clients to help us discover the often times unconscious bunch of beliefs that impact our experience.
Often times, we feel most anxious when we're already in the midst of inner change. Things becomes easier as we let our values direct our decisions rather operating from the perspective of past experiences- particularly if our past experiences left us unhappy. Sometimes we don't have a clue how to move forward and that's okay, too. You're the only one who can figure it out!
Who do you want to become? Just imagining puts you on the road to getting there.
All of us come into the world with a mix of nature and nurture that gives us a unique set of core beliefs about ourselves and guides our thoughts and behavior. Some of us received more love and attention in our families than others and we adapted accordingly. That's okay. Wherever you're starting from is great because change generally begins with noticing where we're coming from!
Think back to the formative events in your life. What messages might they have conveyed to you about yourself? Maybe you learned that you're not important or it's not okay to show your emotions and now you'd like more intimacy and sharing in you life. I have a helpful list of beliefs that I use with clients to help us discover the often times unconscious bunch of beliefs that impact our experience.
Often times, we feel most anxious when we're already in the midst of inner change. Things becomes easier as we let our values direct our decisions rather operating from the perspective of past experiences- particularly if our past experiences left us unhappy. Sometimes we don't have a clue how to move forward and that's okay, too. You're the only one who can figure it out!
Who do you want to become? Just imagining puts you on the road to getting there.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Cultivating Abundance in the Age of Inequality
Are new age beliefs such as cultivating an attitude of abundance and concrete activism mutually exclusive? Leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi suggest that having both makes the most effective change-maker.
My hometown of Athens, Georgia sure could use some abundance, right now. I remember coming across this article about Athens' poverty rate during my final year at Naropa University and getting all fired up. If I was going to become a helper, I wanted to become a helper in my home community.
I was lucky enough to obtain a position at The Banyan Tree Center, where I am happy to report that I love what I do. And, I'm still aware of my desire to get involved in larger community building efforts. So, my eyes and ears are open to who is already having a positive impact and how I might lend a hand.
Gandhi said, "poverty is the cruelest form of violence;" we can change this.
Here are some folks who are already doing big things:
Community Connection
Project Safe
The Cottage
Athens Health Network
How can we be the change we wish to see in the world?
My hometown of Athens, Georgia sure could use some abundance, right now. I remember coming across this article about Athens' poverty rate during my final year at Naropa University and getting all fired up. If I was going to become a helper, I wanted to become a helper in my home community.
I was lucky enough to obtain a position at The Banyan Tree Center, where I am happy to report that I love what I do. And, I'm still aware of my desire to get involved in larger community building efforts. So, my eyes and ears are open to who is already having a positive impact and how I might lend a hand.
Gandhi said, "poverty is the cruelest form of violence;" we can change this.
Here are some folks who are already doing big things:
Community Connection
Project Safe
The Cottage
Athens Health Network
How can we be the change we wish to see in the world?
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Sometimes It's Good to Tune Out
With so many rapidly changing headlines, images, and soundbites and so many instantaneous ways to access them- from Facebook, to Twitter, to Tumbler- you name it!- it can feel impossibly hard to stay caught up! To say nothing of the dishes, pet hair, and/or bills that may or may not be piling up...
And, it's good to be able to follow the news! We're here to change things for the better and communicate with each other. But, with more outlets than ever before to stay abreast of the latest and greatest, what are we to do when part of us feels compelled to read as many articles as possible, regardless of the tension in our bodies? Well, remembering to breathe is always a good start!
What comes next is whatever works for you. To stay sane, we must make a habit of continually checking in with our bodies and minds to maintain, restore, or find balance in our busy lives. It used to be as easy as locking the door and unplugging the telephone. Nowadays, it can feel a little harder to take a moment for ourselves.
Or, is it? How can we make this global culture we are citizens of work for us instead of feeling overwhelming? We can pick and choose what and when we pay attention to the news. When we're tense and nervous, triggered and tired, it may be a good time for a comedy- or unplugging from the media! When we're feeling unmotivated, maybe tuning into a free online guided meditation would be useful.
With the world at our fingertips, it is perhaps more important than ever to be thoughtful about what we give our attention. The beauty of being human is that we are capable of caring deeply- but our very nature also requires that we take a breather every now and again to maintain optimal health. I'm suggesting it's beneficial to let the news pass us by sometimes! It will still be there when we return.
And, it's good to be able to follow the news! We're here to change things for the better and communicate with each other. But, with more outlets than ever before to stay abreast of the latest and greatest, what are we to do when part of us feels compelled to read as many articles as possible, regardless of the tension in our bodies? Well, remembering to breathe is always a good start!
What comes next is whatever works for you. To stay sane, we must make a habit of continually checking in with our bodies and minds to maintain, restore, or find balance in our busy lives. It used to be as easy as locking the door and unplugging the telephone. Nowadays, it can feel a little harder to take a moment for ourselves.
Or, is it? How can we make this global culture we are citizens of work for us instead of feeling overwhelming? We can pick and choose what and when we pay attention to the news. When we're tense and nervous, triggered and tired, it may be a good time for a comedy- or unplugging from the media! When we're feeling unmotivated, maybe tuning into a free online guided meditation would be useful.
With the world at our fingertips, it is perhaps more important than ever to be thoughtful about what we give our attention. The beauty of being human is that we are capable of caring deeply- but our very nature also requires that we take a breather every now and again to maintain optimal health. I'm suggesting it's beneficial to let the news pass us by sometimes! It will still be there when we return.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Soothing Back to School Jitters
You know that nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach before the first day of school? Does that anxiety ever go away? Not according to the students, teachers, and parents I know. What about the anxious dreams about showing up unprepared- and being trapped to endure our out-of-control fate? There's something about back-to-school that's exciting, nerve-racking, and new- every time.
What if we approached each day with the same nervousness? Whew! It'd be nerve-racking. Thankfully, there seems to be a time limit on how long we can experience full-fledged anxiety. When we feel highly overwhelmed and helpless, we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Our survival kicks in. Energy is diverted from our "unnecessary" systems, such as digestion, as we prepare to move quickly!
The same is true when we relax. Our body's feedback loop moves both ways. Try this. Take a deep intentional breath in, breathing in for three to five counts, fully expanding your chest and belly, pausing naturally at the top of the in-breath, and exhaling, slowly and fully. Feel your body and the world of sensation occurring there in this very moment. Gently and easily scan your body from head to toe.
Simply shifting gears by taking deep breathes and turning our attention towards our bodies, where we can begin to notice and release any tension stored there, sends a message to our mind that all is well. We're safe, now. Everything's fine and our energy is free to flow naturally. We don't know what the next moment will bring but our lives unfold moment by moment so feeling safe now is everything.
Trying to relax is a hard thing to do! We can't force it but we can relax naturally when we practice taking deep breaths and giving compassionate attention to ourselves- releasing our innate healing abilities. So, go ahead, take a deep breath- whether or not you've got your homework done! It can only free up energy, making you better able to respond to whatever comes up next...
Happy back to school! May we make all A's in the school of life!
What if we approached each day with the same nervousness? Whew! It'd be nerve-racking. Thankfully, there seems to be a time limit on how long we can experience full-fledged anxiety. When we feel highly overwhelmed and helpless, we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Our survival kicks in. Energy is diverted from our "unnecessary" systems, such as digestion, as we prepare to move quickly!
The same is true when we relax. Our body's feedback loop moves both ways. Try this. Take a deep intentional breath in, breathing in for three to five counts, fully expanding your chest and belly, pausing naturally at the top of the in-breath, and exhaling, slowly and fully. Feel your body and the world of sensation occurring there in this very moment. Gently and easily scan your body from head to toe.
Simply shifting gears by taking deep breathes and turning our attention towards our bodies, where we can begin to notice and release any tension stored there, sends a message to our mind that all is well. We're safe, now. Everything's fine and our energy is free to flow naturally. We don't know what the next moment will bring but our lives unfold moment by moment so feeling safe now is everything.
Trying to relax is a hard thing to do! We can't force it but we can relax naturally when we practice taking deep breaths and giving compassionate attention to ourselves- releasing our innate healing abilities. So, go ahead, take a deep breath- whether or not you've got your homework done! It can only free up energy, making you better able to respond to whatever comes up next...
Happy back to school! May we make all A's in the school of life!
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